Gratitude: The Parenting Superpower You Already Have

Parenting is stressful–yeah I’ve heard that. But here’s the thing— I believe that parenting is also a source of strength, resilience, love and connection —and gratitude, a positive emotion we all know and love. And gratitude has never really been applied to one of life’s biggest challenges: raising kids.

Mindfulness? Sure, it’s great. But for most parents, taking a 20-minute meditation break or going on a retreat isn’t exactly practical. What we need is something that works in the chaos, not outside of it. And that’s where gratitude comes in.

Over half of the gratitude parents feel in their lives (58%) is directly linked to their role as a parent.

• Gratitude builds resilience
• Gratitude creates meaning
• Gratitude enhances self-worth

Parenting is one of the most demanding roles of a lifetime, yet it’s rarely talked about in a way that highlights it’s benefits. Too often, the narrative is about what we’re doing wrong (either not doing enough, or doing too much.) But what if we decided to shift that narrative?

As a gratitude researcher, I’ve spent the past few years studying how gratitude intersects with parenting—and the results might surprise you. My findings show that over half of the gratitude parents feel in their lives (58%) is directly linked to their role as a parent. 

In fact, 72% of parents I talked to used gratitude as a tool during tough times, helping them navigate challenges with greater resilience and meaning.

Gratitude isn’t just a ‘nice to try’—it’s a powerful, science-backed tool for improving your well-being and transforming how you experience parenting.

What Gratitude Does for Parents

1. Gratitude Builds Resilience

Parenting is full of stress—64% of parents report high levels of stress according to the U.S. Surgeon General. But here’s the good news: gratitude may act as a protective factor. My research found that parents who actively practice gratitude reported higher resilience and emotional regulation.

When we notice even small wins, like getting through bedtime without tears or sharing a silly moment with our kids, we reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard parts, but it helps us bounce forward stronger.

2. Gratitude Creates Meaning in the Mess

72% of parents I talked to used gratitude as a tool during tough times.

Parenting often feels like an endless to-do list. But gratitude can turn those everyday moments into something meaningful.

In my research, parents shared that reflecting on gratitude helped them make sense of the chaos, and notice when they got things right amidst the chaos. This meaning-making helped creat a deeper connection to their role. Gratitude allows you to see beyond the torn books and the tantrums and focus on what truly matters: the bond you’re building with your child and the strengths you flex each day as you show up imperfectly for them.

3. Gratitude Enhances Self-Worth

Let’s talk about “Mom Guilt.” Modern parenting culture is riddled with shame and self-criticism, making us feel like we’re never enough. Gratitude changes that.

By focusing on what’s working—like the effort you put in every day—you start to see yourself not as a failure, but as a capable, loving parent. This shift in perspective is vital for building self-worth, a foundation for thriving in parenthood.

Gratitude in Action

How to Start Today:

Gratitude doesn’t require perfection or hours of free time. Here’s how you can begin:

• Daily Gratitude Reflection: Take 2 minutes each day to list 3 things you’re grateful for—big or small. This practice helps train your brain to notice the good.
• Gratitude Pause: When you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask, “What’s one thing going right?” This simple act can shift your mindset in real time.
• Gratitude with Kids: At dinner or bedtime, ask your children to share one thing they’re grateful for. This not only builds connection but teaches them lifelong skills for resilience.

Customize your practice based on your personality, time, whatever makes you, you with more practices here.

The Parental Gratitude Well-Being Framework

In my research, I developed a framework that shows how gratitude interacts with key protective factors like resilience, meaning-making, and self-efficacy. These elements form a virtuous cycle, where gratitude enhances well-being, which in turn strengthens your ability to parent with intention and joy. 

An actionable way to look at this cycle is the PWG© Formula which is: Intention + Attention + Action + Repetition = Results You Can See and Feel.

This isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of parenting. It’s about balancing them with moments of joy and connection. Gratitude reminds us that we are not defined by our struggles but by noticing the tools we already have within us to learn from and rise above them.

Ready to Start?

Parenting isn’t perfect, but it’s full of opportunities to grow, connect, and flourish. When we practice gratitude, we unlock a new way of seeing ourselves, our children, and the journey we’re on together.

Join me in the 90-Day Gratitude Challenge and discover how this simple practice can transform your parenting—and your life. Want to read more about the benefits of Parenting with Gratitude? Click here.

#MomLife Unfiltered: 5 Essential Ways to Keep It Real

“Gratitude serves as a foundation for nurturing connections with other parents and broadening our perspective. It empowers us to embrace our parenting mishaps as integral parts of our journeys, ensuring they do not overshadow our achievements.”

Have you ever found yourself scrolling social, comparing your parenting journey to those seemingly perfect families online? Or perhaps you've tried a 'quick and easy' toddler activity only to find it took hours to set up?

You're not alone. As mothers, we often wrestle with the pressure of high expectations, whether it's the quest for the perfect family photo or the desire for our little ones to embrace every meal we prepare. Just as Shakespeare once said, 'Expectations are the root of heartache.' These unattainable standards can affect how we view our success, self-worth, and even our daily interactions with our children — and they have a lot to do with just how loud our Mom Guilt can get.

The pursuit of high expectations and the desire for life to be a “certain way” are not new, and neither are their resulting negative consequences. They can lead to apathy, stress, and anxiety. These “high standards” can impose rules on our lives that feel so solid and unbreakable—until you start to notice they don’t have to be.

Here are five ways you can adjust your worldview and ground your expectations. Grounded expectations are not about letting things go or even going with the flow; instead, they are rooted in curiosity. What will happen when I try this new baby sleep routine? Or when I substitute sweet potatoes for carrots in this toddler meal? They allow room for growth through experience - and yes, even for mistakes.

Let’s get grounded:

1. Self-Awareness

Take the time to learn more about yourself as a parent. Explore your strengths and areas where you might need support. For example, you might discover that your patience and creativity make you excellent at finding fun toddler activities. Alternatively, you may realize that you thrive in a more flexible daily routine, and that's okay too. We are all unique parents, and what brings happiness and fulfillment can vary greatly from one parent to another. Getting to know yourself better is the first step in making parenting choices that align with your true desires and your child's needs.

2. Social Connection

Seek social connection and support from other parents. It's that reassuring feeling of 'Oh, it's not just me,' like when you discover that the struggles of motherhood are common to us all. This expanded viewpoint helps to balance and validate our personal experiences in realistic ways. For example, when you connect with other moms who have had success introducing toothbrushing, you can gain valuable insights that may help your personal toddler struggle. Through social support, you can establish parenting expectations grounded in real information (It took 6 months!), ultimately offering a more balanced approach to setting expectations for your family's future.

3. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a valuable skill, and yes, it can be challenging in a world driven by constant comparison. But it is an essential component of grounded expectations in the world of parenting. Gratitude serves as a foundation for nurturing connections with other parents and broadening our perspective. It empowers us to embrace our parenting mishaps as integral parts of our journeys, ensuring they do not overshadow our achievements. This website is a treasure trove of gratitude ideas - jump in!

4. Cultivate Optimism

This is not about being happy all the time; it's about nurturing the inherent goodness in our parenting journey. Martin Seligman, often regarded as the father of positive psychology, encourages us to view our inner dialogue as a simple way to cultivate optimism as a parent. He emphasizes that 'changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life deals all of us is the central skill of optimism.’

5. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness, which involves noticing without judgment, is essential for avoiding getting too wrapped up in what 'could have been.' Overcoming our natural thought patterns takes practice. Mindfulness can take the form of a quick breathing exercise or simply taking a moment to be present with your little one. The key is to leave all judgment on the sidelines.

Remember, in the messy journey of motherhood, embracing your authentic self and grounding your expectations can lead to a more joyful and fulfilling parenting experience for both you and your little ones. After all good enough is GoodAF in my book - Stef

What to read next…

Blank Memories: Embracing Unforgettable Moments

Have you heard about the Taylor Swift concert amnesia that's been going around? It's pretty wild! You spend way more than you should on ticket and are so excited for what everyone is calling a once-in-a-lifetime experience. You're expecting to remember this forever, but when you finally get home, you realize you can't remember a single thing. Can you believe it? You invested your time, money, and energy into this experience, and now it feels like a blur — OMG.

Psychologists are saying this post-concert amnesia is quite normal. It happens when we go through intense experiences filled with heightened emotions. And you know what? It got me thinking about something a bit hazy in my own memory: the newborn weeks. Remember those? But really — how much of it do you really remember? I find it fascinating to compare the two because, like with the concerts, the newborn years were a rollercoaster of emotions. It was a whirlwind, from stress and exhaustion to moments of pure euphoria and gratitude.

Now, I wish we could go through the newborn years multiple times, like attending different concerts (do I?). But here's the thing: we can apply something from the concert experience to help us cherish those intense moments in parenthood. Studies have shown that accumulating stuff doesn't bring us lasting happiness. It's the experiences that truly enrich our lives. And you know what's amazing about experiences? It's not just about the moment itself; it's also about the anticipation and the memories we create.

Let me share something I learned from Dr. Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist and researcher on happiness. She explains that experiences bring us joy because we savor them before and after they happen. It's like having a delicious appetizer and a satisfying dessert surrounding the main course of the experience. We look forward to the event, talk about it with excitement, and plan what we'll wear, who we'll go with, and what songs might be played - that’s the pre-savoring. And afterward, we relish in the memories, sharing stories and discoveries we made during that time - that’s the post-savoring.

So, when I think about the Taylor Swift concert amnesia or even the hazy memories from my newborn’s first months, I realize it's not about recalling every little detail. It's about treasuring the entire journey. Sure, you may not remember the exact songs Taylor Swift performed but think about all the moments leading up to the concert. The anticipation, the conversations with friends, and the excitement of picking out your outfit. Those are the moments that matter.

And yes, when it comes to the newborn years, we may forget some specifics, but we remember the love, the tiny outfits, and the feeling of our little ones moving inside us. It's the pre-savoring and post-savoring that truly make an experience meaningful.

If you want to dive deeper into the practice of deliberate savoring as a form of gratitude, I highly recommend checking out this link. You can also listen to the podcast episode on savoring to explore how it can enhance your well-being.

So, Mama, remember that it's the journey that counts, whether you're attending a graduation, visiting Disneyland with your family, or simply cherishing the everyday moments of parenthood. Embrace the pre-savoring, savor the experience itself, and relish in the memories afterward. That's where true well-being is. And even if you forget some of it all, you are still a GoodAF Mom - Stef

Controlled by Mom Guilt

The Overwhelming Weight of Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt takes control of our thoughts and emotions, making us feel like we can never measure up as mothers. It fills us with self-doubt, comparisons, and an unending cycle of questioning our every decision. But what if there was a way to break free from the suffocating grip of Mom Guilt? I’m going to share how a gratitude practice can help you regain control over your inner dialogue, shift your perspectives, and enjoy motherhood's imperfect journey—because that’s what it did for me.

the True Effects of Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt manifests in various ways, leaving us feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and constantly striving for unattainable perfection. It tricks us into believing that we can never get it right, that we're failing our kids, and that parenting is an unwinnable battle. The constant inner dialogue of what we could have done differently haunts our alone time, while other moms' seeming happiness and success add to our guilt.

Navigating Society's Expectations: The Battle Against Mom Guilt

Society's unfair expectations, lack of social support, partners who don't fully understand the demands of parenting, and family members' selective memories of their own experiences all contribute to the overwhelming burden of Mom Guilt.

Add to that, the pervasive nature of social media and influencer culture fuels our comparisons and self-doubt, making our guilt and feelings of inadequacy louder.

Moments that Trigger Mom Guilt: Learning from Mistakes

Mom Guilt strikes during moments of frustration, mistakes, and when we just don’t feel good enough. Whether it's losing our temper, trying a new parenting trick that doesn't work, observing other kids' different behaviors, or simply feeling too exhausted to meet every demand, Mom Guilt sneaks in, intensifying our negative emotions. Have you ever fantasized about getting sick solely for the sake of a break? Yeah, me too, which further fueled my guilt.

The Burden of Mom Guilt: Untangling Guilt and Shame

Carrying the weight of Mom Guilt wears us down. It messes with our emotional well-being. Guilt and shame become entangled, causing us to constantly second-guess ourselves and our behavior. We’re super hard on ourselves, we lose perspective and forget self-compassion!

Bedtime becomes a time of reflection filled with a highlight real of negative thoughts, which let’s face it, we actively avoid by scrolling on our phones or turning to coping mechanisms like drinking or online shopping (been there.)

From Guilt to Gratitude: Transforming your Motherhood

Embracing gratitude is the key to regaining control over our thoughts and freeing ourselves from the rumination of Mom Guilt. When we practice gratitude, our perspective widens, allowing us to see beyond our mistakes and focus on the good in our lives. It helps us appreciate the help and love we receive from other people, recognizing they matter to our lives. We can find moments of joy and contentment by slowing down and choosing our mindset, even when things don't go perfectly. Gratitude reminds us that this all is a precious gift, and even our imperfect parenting is worthy of appreciation.

Reclaiming Control: Practicing Gratitude for Mom Well-Being

We can overcome Mom Guilt and embrace gratitude with a few practical ideas! Instead of striving for perfection, we can adopt a mantra that embraces motherhood as a learning process: "I'm new at this. I don't have to be perfect to be a good mom."

Practicing gratitude one day a week or writing a thank you letter to ourselves each month can help us cultivate a deeper sense of appreciation and self-love. And we can incorporate self-compassion practices into our day - maybe at bedtime? This will allow us to offer kindness and understanding to ourselves.

If you are looking for a gratitude practice that feels just right for you, try my 10-week “How To” email series, where you will be introduced to a new practice each week. And never forget you are a GoodAF Mom. - Stef

p.s. It never hurts to be mindful of our coping mechanisms and try to actively replace negative habits with positive ones, such as unfollowing accounts of people who run us the wrong way or make us feel that familiar ugh I want my life to be like that feeling or drinking a bubbly water before our glass of wine, or saving our scrolling for nap time and read before bed instead. If you want to work on these and more I would suggest the book Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg.

Parenting Differently: Choosing a Grateful Life

As we grow older, certain things become important in our lives - fulfilling even. Personally, that involves noticing my inner goodness and helping other parents go from surviving to thriving. I believe that happiness comes from within and helping others at the same time. I also believe that positive emotions can impact our emotional well-being and physical health, and gratitude is the gateway to so much more in life.

The Benefits of Gratitude for Parents

That’s why I encourage everyone to start some sort of daily gratitude practice. Because it’s a simple way to rewire our brains away from their strong focus on the negative — and my Parenting with Gratitude™ equation can help. Relying on the results of years of research in behavioral psychology and positive psychology, we can become attuned to our GoodAF Mom intention and how we will achieve it. The equation acts as a road map and it helps you to customize your inner work and make it achievable for what you want out of life.

It’s time to shift our intention from becoming the perfect parent and start becoming our very own best friend instead.

I am imperfect, and I have my own baggage that travels wherever I go. However, I’ve learned that my baggage helps me help others. And even though they can’t know my past my children are still my most valuable teachers. As a caregiver, when I had my own children, things went haywire for me emotionally, and I had many “enough is enough” moments where I didn’t know what to do next. I learned everything about children and their development so I could bring empathy and understanding to my parenting, which was lacking. While I learned a lot from books and professional experience, I couldn’t improve my experience at home with my kids. I grew up with a mother who was a teacher, and my experience was “praised in the classroom, crazed in the family home.” It’s hard to escape the fact that we are all a product of our childhoods, one way or another.

Parent Differently with Gratitude

However, I don’t believe parenting differently is simply doing the opposite or the same as our parents. That’s still reacting. We can choose to do things differently, and my Parenting with Gratitude™ equation can help. Gratitude is the gateway to so much more in life, and it’s time to rewire our brains. It’s about acknowledging what’s inside us, our true goodness. It’s about noticing the good all around us, the things we do that are kind and loving as parents and partners, and all the people who love and support us.

Let’s customize our inner work and make it achievable. It’s about what you want out of life. It’s time to shift our intention from becoming the perfect parent to becoming our very own best friend.

What to read next:

How to Start Parenting with Gratitude®

So you're wondering if this whole gratitude thing will work for you…

Parents have been told to "just be grateful" more times than we can count. So if you're giving that word the side-eye, I get it.

But hear me out: I'm not here to tell you to be grateful—I'm here to show you how to use gratitude as a lens to see yourself more clearly. Not to become someone new, but to return to who you already are.

Because here's the thing: parenting doesn't need to break you. It can grow you—if you're paying attention.

When You Need a New Parenting Plan

I’ve been at this for a while. Before becoming a mom, I spent two decades as a professional nanny. I’ve seen parenting from all angles and lived it in the trenches.

Eventually, I said a big, bold F-U to being the “perfect” mom. I wanted something deeper. So I set a new intention: to become a happier human. That single shift sent me down a path of self-work, where I began to do the research and learn the tools of positive psychology.

Along the way, I developed a method I call Parenting with Gratitude® and an equation that makes it easier to try on for size.

This method acts as a kind of commitment device—a strategy (as Dr. Laurie Santos and behavioral scientists would say) that supports self-regulation and helps you stay aligned with your deeper goals.

It’s simple. It’s grounded. And it’s customized—just for you.

The Parenting with Gratitude® Equation 🪷

Let’s update the math. Here’s what my research, practice, and lived experience all say:

Existing moments with our children + Present-moment awareness (infused with parental gratitude)
→ Positive emotions and/or meaning-making
→ The Five Facets of Self-Trust

Those facets are: self-efficacy, self-confidence, self-compassion, self-resilience, and self-worth.

Why It Works:

🪷 Grounded in Reality – You’re not adding more to your plate; you're working with what’s already happening.

🪷 Accessible – It’s not about perfection. It’s about noticing the good that’s already there.

🪷 Sustainable Growth – This isn't a one-time fix. It’s a practice that builds self-trust over time.

🪷 Naturally Expands – Gratitude grows gratitude. And with it, confidence, resilience, and ease.

Let’s Break It Down:

1. Existing Moments with Our Children

This is the good news: you don’t need a new parenting plan. You already have the raw material.
The quiet car ride. The half-hug before bed. The mess, the noise, the questions—they’re all invitations. You don’t have to manufacture connection—it’s happening already.

This equation begins with what you’re already doing.

2. Present-Moment Awareness (Infused with Parental Gratitude)

This is where the practice comes in. When you slow down just enough to notice—that your child is laughing, that you didn’t yell this time, that you’re proud of how you handled that tantrum—you make natural space for gratitude to enter the chat.
Not the “gratitude list” kind. The embodied, “I’m here, and this matters” kind.

This is what I call Parental Gratitude: using mindfulness and appreciation, even delight, right here in the moment.

“Gratitude is fertilizer for the mind, spreading connections and improving its function in nearly every realm of experience.”
― Robert Emmons Ph.D, The Little Book of Gratitude

3. Positive Emotions and/or Meaning-Making

When you engage with the moment this way, something shifts inside you. Maybe you feel joy. Maybe you feel relief. Maybe you just feel like yourself again.
Or maybe, you simply see the meaning in what just happened: that mattered. And so do you.

This stage activates the inner landscape of positive psychology—and that’s where growth begins.

4. The Five Facets of Self-Trust

As this pattern repeats—real moments + mindful gratitude → meaning—you begin to build something incredible inside you. Something grounded and deep that no one can take away from you.

Not perfection. Not control. Self-trust.

You begin to believe that:

• You’re capable (self-efficacy)

• You’re good enough (self-worth)

• You can handle hard things (self-resilience)

• You can be kind to yourself (self-compassion)

• You know what you're doing (self-confidence)

“We can accumulate a greater sense of self-worth by appreciating our accomplishments and the results we achieve in the world, and through the repeated internalization of recognizing our own accomplishments, and feeling successful in inappropriate ways as a result, as well as internalizing the appreciation of others, acknowledgments of others, the friendliness of others, the lovingness of others, all of which affirm our worth as a being.” - Rick Hanson on Being Well.

This is the Practice

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to pause.
To open up and let one good thing land.
And then let it shape how you see yourself.

Because you’re not broken. You’re growing.
And you’re not alone. - Stef 🪷

What to do next:

Listen to the Podcast:

The Imperfect Parenting Guide

You don’t have to be a perfect parent.

But admitting that might feel like a confession.

After all, we live in a world that sells us the story of the “perfect parent” every single day—through media, social networks, parenting experts, our friends, and even the whispering voices inside our own heads. We’re told that good parenting requires intense, constant, sacrificial effort that we must always be available, endlessly selfless, emotionally flawless and regulated.

These pressures are the essence of intensive parenting—a model that overstates parental control, overlooks structural realities, and quietly drains what was once a joyful, rewarding role of its energy, meaning, and self-trust.

This narrative isn’t just false—it’s damaging.

What Is Intensive Parenting?

Intensive parenting, sometimes called over-parenting or “helicopter parenting,” is the prevailing ideology in U.S. parenting culture. It promotes an image of the “ideal parent”—usually the mother—as always focused on the child and prioritizing their enrichment, safety, and emotional well-being, even at great personal cost.

I will lay out the five fundamental beliefs included in the Intensive Parenting style so you know what they are, and then explore how I think we can lighten the load:

1) Parenting is best done by mothers. 

2) Parents should seek out expert support for proper child rearing. 

3) It is naturally time-intensive to care for a child properly. 

4) It is expensive to provide the things the child will need for proper development. 

5) Children are inherently good, innocent, and sacred. 

Four forces drive this framework:

• Cultural norms that glorify over-involvement and judgment

• Media and peer pressures that reinforce unattainable standards

• Genetic essentialism, which tells mothers they are biologically responsible for their child’s success and failures

• And social systems that offer little support but plenty of blame

A Better Way: Imperfect Parenting

Parenting doesn’t need to be perfect to be powerful. It needs to be real. 🪷

Let’s be clear: less intensive does not mean less invested.

Parenting imperfectly means parenting with intention, not intensity. It means anchoring to what matters most and letting go of the rest. It means trusting yourself more than the algorithm. And it means embracing the idea that you are already good enough—not when you do everything right, but when you show up as yourself.

This is the approach I teach and practice: It’s called Parenting with Gratitude®

It’s not about gratitude lists or good vibes only. It’s about recognizing the richness in your real parenting moments, and using that recognition to build self-trust from the inside out.

The Parenting with Gratitude® Equation 🪷

Existing moments with our children + Present-moment awareness (infused with parental gratitude)
→ Positive emotions and/or meaning-making → The Five Facets of Self-Trust (self-efficacy, self-confidence, self-compassion, self-resilience, self-worth)

This method acts as a kind of commitment device—a structure that helps you stay rooted in what matters to you, even when the world tells you otherwise.

And it works. Why?

Because the less pressure you feel to perform perfectly,
→ the more gratitude you can access
→ the more trust you build
→ the better you show up
→ the less pressure you feel.

That’s the flywheel effect of real, imperfect, grounded parenting.

Accountability Without Shame

Choosing to parent imperfectly isn’t an excuse to disconnect. It’s a practice of honest, values-based accountability.

This approach invites you to:

• Reflect on what’s truly working—and what isn’t

• Repair after mistakes without self-punishment

• Practice presence over performance

You don’t need to be flawless. You need to be flexible, self-aware, and grounded in your own growth. That’s real modeling.

The Research Backs It Up

Psychological research supports this shift. When we model:

• Self-compassion, our kids learn inner kindness

• Emotional regulation, they develop resilience

• Repair after mistakes, they trust more deeply

Parenting outcomes don’t hinge on perfection.

They’re shaped by connection, presence, and the capacity to reflect and learn again and again.

Let’s Talk About the Bigger Picture

When we place the entire burden of raising children on one parent, we’re not empowering—we’re eroding self-trust. 🪷

While some of the principles of intensive parenting may seem appealing, placing the burden of raising well-adjusted children on one parent—usually the mother—is a recipe for burnout, anxiety, depression, and despair.

And it’s simply not the full picture.

Beyond a secondary caregiver, this narrow view leaves out:

• The influence of media, peer groups, and culture

• The impact of schools, daycares, and other non-shared environments

• And the reality of genetic inheritance—our children come from a long line of people, not just one household

Just like it wasn’t 100% my parents’ fault I ended up in therapy, it won’t be 100% your fault if your child turns out flawed. When we place the full responsibility of a child's future on one person, we give mothers a mandate to be perfect—and that simply isn’t possible.

The solution isn’t simple, but it does begin here: With the willingness to be an Imperfect Parent.

Imperfection as Resistance

For me, embracing imperfection has lightened the load. It lets me release the illusion of control and focus instead on what actually brings me—and my children—joy.

Being an imperfect parent means:

• You don’t have to follow every cultural “should”

• You can skip the holiday decorations if they stress you out

• You can buy slip-ons instead of fighting over shoelaces

• You can say no to weekend enrichment marathons and yes to rest

Parenting is a learning process. It always has been messy. It always will be. But it’s still meaningful. Still worthy. Still enough.

And maybe most importantly: you don’t have to do it alone.

Fathers, grandparents, extended family, chosen family—they all have a role.
And we, as mothers, can take a hard look at the gender expectations we may have internalized and choose a different path. (I’ve definitely caught myself doing the “forget it, I’ll do it” thing more times than I’d like to admit.)

Call It What It Is: A Broken Model

The complexity of modern parenting can’t withstand a perfect approach. And so this broken approach fails us—and our kids. 🪷

The complexity of modern parenting can’t withstand a perfect approach.
And so the model of intensive parenting fails us—and our kids.

So maybe it’s time to stop trying to fix yourself—and start seeing what’s already good.

Start with one moment. One breath. One noticing of the quiet, steady way you’re already showing up.

That’s where your power is.
That’s where your self-trust begins.
That’s Parenting with Gratitude®

Stef 🪷