Hi, I’m tef!
Imperfect parent, gratitude nerd, nanny and author
Creator of the Parenting with Gratitude© method
“I intend to parent differently by committing to the practice of gratitude.” - 🪷 Stef
Instead of trying to be better parents, let’s start being better to ourselves.
The very simple way I do that is with a daily gratitude practice.
I am training my brain to notice the good things that happen each day instead of just the bad.
At some point, I was just ready to parent differently. Maybe you are ready too?
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” -Rumi
Studies show the more we feel positive emotions, the better - for our emotional well-being and physical health. I use gratitude as my jumping-off point. I can notice the good around me. I can notice the things I do that are kind and loving as a parent and partner, and I can notice all the people around me who love and support me.
Gratitude is the gateway to so much more - and it’s right at our fingertips.
On this blog, it’s my mission to offer options for a daily gratitude practice that works just for you — because, as a community, mothers are burned out, and it’s time to rewire our brains. Using the knowledge of behavioral scientists and positive psychology, mixed with my Parenting with Gratitude™ Equation, we can become attuned to our personal strengths as well as the innate benefits of parenting.
Don’t you ever forget you have all the pieces to the Equation. And you are already a GoodAF parent. - 🪷 Stef
The Parenting with Gratitude™ Equation:
Existing moments with our children + Present-moment awareness (infused with parental gratitude)
➡︎ Leads to: Positive emotions and/or meaning-making
➡︎ Which contributes to the development of: The Five Facets of Self-Trust
Why It Works:
🪷 Grounded in Reality – You’re not adding more to your plate; you are working with what’s already happening.
🪷 Accessible – It’s not about perfection, just noticing and engaging with what’s already there.
🪷 Sustainable Growth – Instead of a quick fix, it strengthens self-trust over time.
🪷 Naturally Expands – The more you integrate gratitude, the more self-trust builds—creating a flywheel effect of resilience and well-being.
Stef facts:
Past — Professional nanny for 20+ years. Oldest of five siblings.
As a child: loved drawing, cats, and reading. Taking care of my baby brother and pretending he was mine.
Present — Mom of 2 boys. Partner. Mill Valley, CA. Gratitude journaling. List-making. Crying and laughing (sometimes equally) and meditating. Cooking. Going to therapy. Writing a book on gratitude.
Award winning author of The Middle of the Night Book
Future — Parenting isn’t all bad—and I’m here to make sure that story gets told. Because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, but the way we see parenting today can change everything.
🪷 Do you need free child care? I volunteer up to 4 hours a month in support of local parents. Contact me for more info. Marin County only.
Popular FAQs
Why is Parenting so hard?
It used to be that an entire community supported families. In stark contrast, a vast majority of modern mothers tend to care solely for the children and the demands of the family. In addition, in the past 20 years, American culture has adopted a new form of parenting called ‘Intensive Parenting’ that increased the demands on a parent’s time and finances. Intensive parenting focuses on deep, connected quality time with children of all ages and ensuring the child has access to learning opportunities, after-school enrichment, athletics, developmentally appropriate toys, games, etc.
What is Parenting with Gratitude?
Using the proven benefits of gratitude to improve our relationship with parenting ups and downs can help with the stresses of parenthood, including but not limited to Mom Guilt, perfectionism and worry. Making a daily list helps to train your brain to notice all the good you already provide your children, circumventing the deeply coded Negativity Bias. It’s a mindset shift, one a modern parent desperately needs, especially in the modern age of Intensive Parenting.
What is Gentle Parenting?
Gentle Parenting is an updated name for Authoritative parenting, one of the three developmental psychologist accepted parenting styles. The three are: Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive (with a fourth that is called neglectful/absent). Gentle Parenting focuses on being supportive, accepting and empathetic. Gentle Parents allow their children the learning opportunities of mistakes, and natural consequences. They provide a safe, consistent structure and model healthy boundaries so their children can learn necessary skills needed to navigate the modern world.